How do you feel today? 3

[ChristianBecker]

Drugged you, too, eh? Sod 'em.

[Del]

OMG chris... I have heard about this.... having your organs stolen.

This is a heads-up to all of our friends!

Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on.

While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?

Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking! for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair, and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary.

My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning.

In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?

My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.

That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee.

That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?

The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again. Was it lifted from you?

I think I finally found my thighs... and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.

Now I keep them hidden in my waistband

[Batty]

[ChristianBecker]

This.

[Dotsie]

I once woke up to find an extra chin. Who left that there?

[Who's Wee Dug]

Was it a leaving pressie Dotsie.

[Big Aggie]

OMG you lot might not believe this, but it's true! The breast thief that Del was on about has been to Scotland, well my house to be precise, but not to take mine, no he has given me at least four peoples breasts It's not funny, I can't see my feet anymore and I keep falling forward.

[Batty]

OMG you lot might not believe this, but it's true! The breast thief that Del was on about has been to Scotland, well my house to be precise, but not to take mine, no he has given me at least four peoples breasts It's not funny, I can't see my feet anymore and I keep falling forward.

Do they help you keep abreast of things?????

[Big Aggie]

OMG you lot might not believe this, but it's true! The breast thief that Del was on about has been to Scotland, well my house to be precise, but not to take mine, no he has given me at least four peoples breasts It's not funny, I can't see my feet anymore and I keep falling forward.

Do they help you keep abreast of things?????

They certainly do Batty

[Who's Wee Dug]

OMG you lot might not believe this, but it's true! The breast thief that Del was on about has been to Scotland, well my house to be precise, but not to take mine, no he has given me at least four peoples breasts It's not funny, I can't see my feet anymore and I keep falling forward.

Do they help you keep abreast of things?????

They certainly do Batty

Can't you wear a weighted rucksack for counter balance Aggie.

[Big Aggie]

Wot like a couple of big boulders?

[spideyGirl]

I also appear to have been given some bags just around my eyes, may be it is in case I find myself having to nip into the shops for some milk and bread on the way home from work and they wanted to save me having to spend 5p? Very thoughtful

[wicked woman]

I don't have a problem over balancing, i'm ballasted fore and aft.

[Catch-up]

Funny!

I feel exhausted today. Seems like the cold is on it's way out. I should be getting back to tackling the refinancing thing, but I just don't have the energy for it.

[meerkat]

The extra happy tablet appears to be kicking in and I feel rather strange. May go back to bed for a while.