Tell Us Your Stupid Stories !!

[Joolz]

Our Sunday mountain bike ride always finished with a completely mad hell for leather dash to the pub- Last one in bought the round So there I was in front, flew round a corner...BANG....straight into the back of a Transit that was parked in the middle of the track Blood and snot all over the place and a lovely face print on the van
Best bit though was going to a job interview the next day looking like I'd done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson ....I think they were so scared I got the job

[raptornx01]

Ah, very nice comeback! It's still not going to help you if someone you're interested in catches you calling her a chick.

Don't worry, being too nice has always been more of a problem then the other way around.

and not a particular story but aside from the previously mentioned blankings i do have a habit of absentmindedness. like intending to go to the bathroom but going to the kitchen instead and wondering why i went in there, and vice versa. and i have on several occasions taken out my badge when arriving at my front door and taken out my keys when at the time clock at work.

[Conforumist]

Ok, here are a couple,

I was probably about 6-7 years old. I thought to myself, if I can dive into water, I should be able to dive into may mattress as well. ....thankfully, I did not break my neck!

I was in my mid teens and I'm standing at the bus stop with my friend Leanne (not a close friend, more like acquaintances). We're just talking, when suddenly she says "f*** I'm horny". My response was "oh yeah?".

I was around the same age and talking to 2 friends (girls) in the small apartment building right by my house. They kept looking at each other and smiling. Then suddenly, they grabbed me and tried to get my pants off. Fortunately, I was able to fend them off!

[Bouncy Castle]

Blimey Con!

[ShadowNinjaCat]

Somebody's popular but seriously Con you had strange female friends.

[meerkat]

Talk about walking into a lion's den, Con! You have some wild women up your way!

[Batty]

... I was around the same age and talking to 2 friends (girls) in the small apartment building right by my house. They kept looking at each other and smiling. Then suddenly, they grabbed me and tried to get my pants off. Fortunately, I was able to fend them off!

... And then you woke up???


And that happened when you were 6-7? Flippin Heck!

[Conforumist]

... I was around the same age and talking to 2 friends (girls) in the small apartment building right by my house. They kept looking at each other and smiling. Then suddenly, they grabbed me and tried to get my pants off. Fortunately, I was able to fend them off!

... And then you woke up???


And that happened when you were 6-7? Flippin Heck!

No, I meant mid teens for that one!

[raptornx01]

Hmmmm

(contemplates moving to Canada.)

[Batty]

... I was around the same age and talking to 2 friends (girls) in the small apartment building right by my house. They kept looking at each other and smiling. Then suddenly, they grabbed me and tried to get my pants off. Fortunately, I was able to fend them off!

... And then you woke up???


And that happened when you were 6-7? Flippin Heck!

No, I meant mid teens for that one!

My mistake!

[Del]

I think we need a pic of Con when he was a teenager!

I once threw myself at a man!

I had left home at 16 to go north to work in the mines and had come home 1500 miles to visit Mum and Dad. My bestest g/f was Christine and I had had a massive crush on her older brother for years. He had gone off to join the army a year before so we hadn't seen each other for years. While I was home Christine and her family were going out to a ball and invited me along. Their car was packed so .... she arranged for the older brother to collect me in his car and we would meet up at the dance. I had a new floor length white killer dress, I was brown from living up north, long blonde hair, killer heels and I was a little excited.... (Oh yeah baby... I had grown up!) Mum and Dad were even excited as they loved Christine and her family.

Toowoomba weather being so similar to English weather it had been raining all day. Mum and my 29 year old sister had arranged how it would go.... Mum would answer the door and "call me" and I would do the reveal.... He knocked and stepped back down the stairs waiting at the bottom with his hand out (all dressed up in his dress uniform) to help me over the big mud puddle that had formed at the bottom of the stairs.

Yep.... I was a vision as I stood in the lamplight at the top of the stairs.... stepped of the verandah; and fell arse over tit all the way down the stairs and landed face first in the mud puddle

Mum and my sister raced down the stairs, and literally carried me inside where they madly showered me and found me another dress to wear while Dad and my brothers chatted to him and took their time to carefully sponge the mud off the bottom of his trousers.

I went out in a nice dress and still damn hair

At the end of the night he kissed me..............and I thought.... "Naaaah!" and it was all over... I don't know... I think it was whole "crush" thing.

[Bouncy Castle]

I once threw myself at a man!

Only the once? Surely not?

I went out in a nice dress and still damn hair

Yeah. Damn that hair, I say!!

[Batty]

Typical!

[Del]

I once threw myself at a man!

Only the once? Surely not?

Oh yeah...I should have known it was the start of a lifetime of the "falling downs". Once took a walk into air off a verandah of a restaurant while smiling coyly at my date and looking back casually at him over my shoulder....(why would they not put handrails on a raised verandah !!!!!) Did he leap down to save me? Noooo! He ran up the end and used the stairs! (No point both of us being hurt) before he untangled me from the bushes. That relationship didn't go far... something about me going "Ouch! Ah! No! Ouch!" everytime he tried to touch me til I healed.

I went out in a nice dress and still damn hair

Yeah. Damn that hair, I say!!

DAMP! DAMP HAIR! And your knew it!

[Del]

Soooooo...... Last week..... after the kitchen floor was done and we realised we couldnt stay in the house overnight, I needed a "witness" to smell the house in case I needed to go to the Rental Authority about unsuitable living standards, etc.

Well..... the grass was long. Its been raining since I got the mower fixed so it was really long. So..... I was tip-toeing around the side yard towards the neighbours house. I had heard him over there under his back deck and thought I would catch him to pop over for a minute... to smell the house.

So I was tip-toeing... because the grass was long.... and I had stockings on and my leather shoes.... didnt want to ladder them or wet the shoes..... I was tip-toeing NOT for quiet.... I was avoiding the puddles and wet grass.

SERIOUSLY!!!!!! WHO pees in their back yard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was a mutual combined cry of Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! and Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhh! and we both threw our hands over body parts.... me over my eyes and him over his ummmmm bits.

WHO PEES IN THEIR BACK YARD!

I turned on my heel, flounced back to my front yard and called out "Dont worry about it. I have seen one before... heh heh!"

Ruined my shoes.