Epic Battle

[meerkat]

A Viking sidles up to Shadow, waving his weapon, and asks if she does a line in Pyre burning, There are a few Viking bodies to get rid of.

[michelanCello]

mC, although not happy with the idea that she was basically causing the death of millions of people/cocroaches/piglets/whatever, convinced herself that this was acceptable and was happy to help Shadow out

[ShadowNinjaCat]

A Viking sidles up to Shadow, waving his weapon, and asks if she does a line in Pyre burning, There are a few Viking bodies to get rid of.

*Activate Salesman Voice* Why of course my dear man!,Shadow's Undertaker Services or S.U.S if you will .Caters for your exact religious/non-religious burial/cremating/Pyre burning/ashes exploding in a firework/shooting to space/etc etc needs with utmost care!

Please speak to this nice,young woman* on my right here,she help you with all the arrangements.

*Ok mC, you can work for the newly opened S.U.S. Now you won't be "basically causing the death of millions of people/cocroaches/piglets/whatever" you can work with the already dead ones.

[meerkat]

The Viking roars a war cry of "They are really cheap, lads!" and runs back to the others informing them of this new service. The Seers give this some thought. After a quick burning of an unknown enemy's wherewithalls, (regulo HOT, not too near the centre of the fire) for an auspicious decision, they agree with the usual proviso regarding the usual sentiments of sending off of the dead.

Upon pyre lighting, do not stand too near the flames, back off and watch the show revealing proper respect to the deceased and your own welbeing. And you must, must, Observe the following Rules:

1) get drunk
2) run amok
3) severly bash up any roman/enemy(whoever) who does not agree or will not wait to strike whilst these perparations are in full swing.
4) the souls burnt are in no way relieved of thier gold torcs or bracelets pre firelighting
5) raking through the ashes is allowed (once cool) but otherewise the next of kin/cousin/friend/legal enemy/Seer, must have first refusal of any melted gold/silver/lead/or any gems not melted or crushed.

[michelanCello]

All right, let's give it a go then...
We're gathered here to gather to say our final goodbye to these cruel killers and noble warriors...

[unseenu]

(This is proof that war builds civilisation,we started randomly fighting now we have an economy and religious institutions growingv )


Seeing the funeral as a good excuse to take a break from fighting unseenu drove his tank back over to his troops and told them to fetch reinforcements.When they were gone he walked over and joined the funeral group.

Stepping forward he respectfully uttered some appropriate old english lines which he had just googled up:

Sēlre bið æghwæm,
þæt hē his frēond wrece, þonne hē fela murne;
ūre æghwylc sceal ende gebīdan
worolde līfes; wyrce sē þe mōte
dōmes ær dēaðe! þæt bið driht-guman
unlifgendum æfter sēlest.

Translation: Better is it for each one of us that he should avenge his friend, than greatly mourn. Each of us must expect an end of living in this world; let him who may win glory before death: for that is best at last for the departed warrior.

[meerkat]

The Vikings cheer, get very drunk on apple brandy and then start hacking at the first enemy they find.

[Sjoerd3000]

The vikings using 2 swords and no shield to protect them are vulnerable to archers! And soon it starts raining arrows on them.

Meanwhile Sjoerd drives toward Shadow. 'I need ammo for 999 T-34 tanks. Is that Sherman for sale too?'

[chris.ph]

mmmm chris borrows a hercules black storm off the usaf, 2 rotory machine guns blasts the archers and vikings into bits whilst circling the battlezone out of range of the t34 cannon

[Sjoerd3000]

Sjoerd radios in a Squadron of Spitfires to attack the Hercules

[michelanCello]

Hey, it's mourning period! No fighting! Have some respect...

[meerkat]

The Viking Warriors begin a chant as they fall to the ballistics being sent in thier general direction. This makes the clouds amass, grow dark, split and emit so much lightening that the tanks become elctrically charged and soon are crashing into each other like magnmetic toys.
Down from above come those Heroes of Valhalla, mad, annoyed, slightly irritated or just hacked off that they had to leave the booze up behind to get this lot sorted.
Odin points out Sjoerd and Unseenu's forces and all Hel (correct spelling) breaks loose as Thor sends enormnous thunderbolts earthwards whilst his hammer, aimed at Sjoerd as a warning, misses purposefully, as meant, and the hammer returns to Thor's hand, as usual.

The Farmer hides under a stash of arrows and the piglet Sjoerd brought is roasted to a turn!

[unseenu]

unseenu miraculously survives being struck by lightning and staggers back into his tank which he drives to the edge of the battlefield in a pathetic attempt to escape the Norse gods' wrath

[Sjoerd3000]

Luckily the T-34 tanks are easily repaired

[meerkat]

Silently the local 30 strong Meerkat troop, hearing and seeing of the disturbance to thier feeding lands, decide to intervene. Being small they nip through the fighting men and into the tanks where they remove the starter motor thingy wossname and spit them out over the cliff edge not a half mile from the fighting area. Then they return to the battle, tails up and growling. Things for the fighters were not going to be 'Simples'!