So I have taken a quick look and was surprised that there wasn't a joke thread.
So here goes I will start and hope others will join.
THE PANDA AND THE PROSTITUTE:-
A panda walks through the red light district and sees a prostitute he likes the look of. He asks her if she is working and the go home to her.
Panda:- Before we start can you make me a sandwhich?
Panda:- A sandwhich.
Prostitute:- Ok, its a bit wierd but ok its your cash. What do you want on it?
Panda:- Ohhh a bambu shoot and marmite would be lovely
So the Panda gets his sandwhich, then they do the dirty. Afterwards the panda gets up and starts to leave.
Prostitute:- OY!!!!!!!! what are you trying to do, you have to pay me.
Panda:- No I dont I'm a panda, what did you expect?
Prostitute:- Money of course
She throws a dictionary at him
Prostitute:- Here mr panda look up prostitute, thats what I am and youre gonna pay me!!
So the panda look up prostitute, it says -Prostitute, A person who sells sexual favours for money.
Panda:- So what I'm a panda, look that up.
So the prostitute takes the dictionary and looks up panda, it says -Panda, a type of bear that eats shoots and leaves.
Panda:- Now thats sorted I'm off.