Jokes

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Jokes

Postby snowballs » Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:06 pm

So I have taken a quick look and was surprised that there wasn't a joke thread.
So here goes I will start and hope others will join.

THE PANDA AND THE PROSTITUTE:-

A panda walks through the red light district and sees a prostitute he likes the look of. He asks her if she is working and the go home to her.

Panda:- Before we start can you make me a sandwhich?

Prostitute:- WHAT??

Panda:- A sandwhich.

Prostitute:- Ok, its a bit wierd but ok its your cash. What do you want on it?

Panda:- Ohhh a bambu shoot and marmite would be lovely

So the Panda gets his sandwhich, then they do the dirty. Afterwards the panda gets up and starts to leave.

Prostitute:- OY!!!!!!!! what are you trying to do, you have to pay me.

Panda:- No I dont I'm a panda, what did you expect?

Prostitute:- Money of course

She throws a dictionary at him

Prostitute:- Here mr panda look up prostitute, thats what I am and youre gonna pay me!!

So the panda look up prostitute, it says -Prostitute, A person who sells sexual favours for money.

Panda:- So what I'm a panda, look that up.

So the prostitute takes the dictionary and looks up panda, it says -Panda, a type of bear that eats shoots and leaves.

Panda:- Now thats sorted I'm off. :D
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Postby Tonyblack » Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:22 pm

Didn't look very far, did you? :lol:

No worries. :wink:
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Postby Who's Wee Dug » Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:23 pm

:mrgreen: :lol:
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
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Postby snowballs » Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:26 pm

Tonyblack wrote:Didn't look very far, did you? :lol:

No worries. :wink:


Guess the Jokes on mre then :oops: My excuse is that I was trying to do too many things at once :oops:
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Postby snowballs » Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:32 pm

But it was on page 5, the other forums I've been on only have dead threads after page 4, either that or this is one active forum.

Question though:- Did you like the joke?
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Postby meerkat » Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:44 pm

Good'un Snowballs! :lol:
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Postby snowballs » Fri Jan 07, 2011 7:45 pm

meerkat wrote:Good'un Snowballs! :lol:


Cheers m8, heres one espically for you my freind.

Superman is flying over Metropolis when he spots Wonderwoman lying naked on the roof of a skyscraper with her legs spread.

He thinks "well I'm the fastest thing in the world, so if I'm quick it should easy, so he flies down.

WHOOSHBABGBANGBANGBAAAAAAAANGAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

He then flies away as fast as he can.

Wonderwoman looks upp and says "What the hell was that?"

The invisible man says "I've no idea but my arse is killing me"

BOMBOM!!!
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Postby meerkat » Fri Jan 07, 2011 7:47 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm a lady by the way, though many would say I am not that posh enough! :wink:
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Postby snowballs » Fri Jan 07, 2011 7:52 pm

meerkat wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm a lady by the way, though many would say I am not that posh enough! :wink:


You dont need to be posh to be a lady as long as you look good in a dress.
Actually that sounds wrong because then I'd be a lady :oops:
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Postby meerkat » Fri Jan 07, 2011 7:57 pm

WELCOME to the site, Snowballs! You're fitting in SO well! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby snowballs » Fri Jan 07, 2011 7:58 pm

meerkat wrote:WELCOME to the site, Snowballs! You're fitting in SO well! :lol: :lol: :lol:


One does try, or is it one is trying??
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Postby deldaisy » Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:09 pm

Two guys meets the new guy in the office one day and says" Hey listen! You want to see something REALLY COOL about this building... then come up to the roof at lunchtime."

All three meet up on the top of the building at noon, munching on their sandwiches as the wind blows ferociously around them.

"So?" Says the new guy... "Whats so special about this building then?"

The first guy pulls his jacket off and says "This building has a freaky updraft. It screams up the side of the building! You CAN'T fall to the ground!"

"Get out of it!" says the new guy, "You must think I am stupid!"

"No. No." says the first guy... "Watch!" and before anyone can stop him he JUMPS off the side of the building........ :shock: and immediatley POPS back up on TOP of the rooftop again...... :shock:

"Wow!" says the new guy... "Thats amazing!!!!! Let me have a try!" and runs over and OFF the top of the roof.

Second guy turns to the first guy and says, "God! You can be a bastard sometimes Superman!"
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Postby snowballs » Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:10 pm

Good one :D :D :D
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Postby meerkat » Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:17 pm

ROFLMAO! :lol:
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Fri Jan 07, 2011 10:18 pm

:lol:

Truth is though that they're nearly all joke threads (or inherently a joke :P ), just not labelled Jokes. *shrugs* There's funny pictures, what made me smile today, what made me laugh out loud (quite recent that one) and that's not even having to think about it. Joke, jokes is easy man - it's making a joke that's more fun. :wink:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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